Sunday, May 18, 2008

May Nineteen Two Thousand Eight

Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within
Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it's alright
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
When there's no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within
Young girl don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul
When there's no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know (be strong)
You'll break it (hold on)
You'll make it
Just don't forsake it because
No one can tell you what you can't do
No one can stop you, you know that I'm talking to you
Young girl don't cry, I'll be right here when your world starts to fall..

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

To Hell With It All

So I've had enough with Medicine Hat and all of it's lameness. I've had it with the fake, arrogent people who pretend to be your friend and in the end, do nothing but hurt you. I've had it with bending over backwards for those "friends" by putting my life on hold just to customise theirs and make sure they are 100% ok, when in return all they end up doing is fucking me royally. I've also had it with all the immaturity this city has to offer, and with that, the employers. I know I have complained about the employers in Calgary being whack but as of lately, the ones here blow. I also know about a million people who would back my statements up. I can't handle this depression anymore. It seems like an endless cycle that keeps going and going and there is no way to escape it. Alot would say that (again) I am running away from my problems and yes, maybe in a way I am, but right now that's all I really can do. How am I supposed to be happy and make money with no job? (Which might I add I got one yesterday.. one I didn't even apply at too.) I want to go back to the place where even with no job and no money made me happy. I'm not a small town person and Vancouver is 2 years away, which is WAY to long and I can garuntee I will be driven to insanity by then. Calgary is where my heart is. Funny to think that I was terrified of Calgary when the offer first came up. Pussy. I can't wait to move back and I will be counting down the days until happiness. You know the saying, "If you want something bad enough, you would do anything to get it".. All I want is to be happy. Fuck money and big houses and expensive cars, I mean it would be great but you can have all of that and not be happy (although right now alot of money would make me VERY happy cuz then I'd get outta here sooner). I AM going to do EVERYTHING to be happy again. And to be happy again means going home. After the Vancouver vacation, I am going to work my ass off, pay off old debts, save up, exercise, and get the fuck outta here. And if I'm not outta this shit hole by January 1st, 2009, I give permission to whoever reads this, to kill me with a dull butterknife.
On the here and now, my pup is sick. Poor boy. :(

Thursday, May 8, 2008

One More Day?... I Sure Hope Not!

So as I sit here, on Day 7, still jobless, I'm wondering what the hell it takes to get a job in this city. I've applied at 21 places so far and not ONE has called back. Places that are hiring, places I have experience at, places that hire BUMS! I really don't wanna resort going to McDonalds.. Now that's low. And sad. I really wish employers would take down their "NOW HIRING" signs if they are NOT hiring and another thing that pisses the fuck outta me is when an employer says that they will call you, and then they don't. The only thing I am certain on right now is my re-runs of Sex and the City. I have 22 days before the movie comes out (at this rate I'm gonna have to sneek in to see it) and I wanna watch all 6 seasons. I'm down 1 and a half.. 4 and a half more to go.
Well, here's to hoping that I get a call back 2morro. From at least ONE of the places I applied. And another gas tank full later, I will apply at more places. My feet are cold, my cat's in heat and I have a sore throat. Oh my god, I killed one giant ass spider today. Well I didn't KILL it, I sucked him up with the vaccum so I really hope he died right away cuz he'da been mighty dizzy otherwise.
I guess I'm off to continue my journey's through Sex and the City re-runs. Good riddance and good night.. Again.