So I've had enough with Medicine Hat and all of it's lameness. I've had it with the fake, arrogent people who pretend to be your friend and in the end, do nothing but hurt you. I've had it with bending over backwards for those "friends" by putting my life on hold just to customise theirs and make sure they are 100% ok, when in return all they end up doing is fucking me royally. I've also had it with all the immaturity this city has to offer, and with that, the employers. I know I have complained about the employers in Calgary being whack but as of lately, the ones here blow. I also know about a million people who would back my statements up. I can't handle this depression anymore. It seems like an endless cycle that keeps going and going and there is no way to escape it. Alot would say that (again) I am running away from my problems and yes, maybe in a way I am, but right now that's all I really can do. How am I supposed to be happy and make money with no job? (Which might I add I got one yesterday.. one I didn't even apply at too.) I want to go back to the place where even with no job and no money made me happy. I'm not a small town person and Vancouver is 2 years away, which is WAY to long and I can garuntee I will be driven to insanity by then. Calgary is where my heart is. Funny to think that I was terrified of Calgary when the offer first came up. Pussy. I can't wait to move back and I will be counting down the days until happiness. You know the saying, "If you want something bad enough, you would do anything to get it".. All I want is to be happy. Fuck money and big houses and expensive cars, I mean it would be great but you can have all of that and not be happy (although right now alot of money would make me VERY happy cuz then I'd get outta here sooner). I AM going to do EVERYTHING to be happy again. And to be happy again means going home. After the Vancouver vacation, I am going to work my ass off, pay off old debts, save up, exercise, and get the fuck outta here. And if I'm not outta this shit hole by January 1st, 2009, I give permission to whoever reads this, to kill me with a dull butterknife.
On the here and now, my pup is sick. Poor boy. :(
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I've always believed that your reality is how you define it to be. So I don't really believe you are running away from your problems - in spite of what others might say - rather you're redefining your reality to be free of problems.
If all your friends are nothing more than "emotional vampires" - as I like to call them - and all they do is take from you, and never return it, then you are truly better off without them. For they were never your friends to begin with; it's a parasitic relationship. In just the same way a tapeworm will live inside its host, feeding off of it, emotional vampires act in much the same manner. Constantly feeding off your compassion to try and strengthen their stability, and it's never enough no matter how much you give; I’ve known people like this.
I'm happy you've figured out your situation, for some people aren't that lucky. They endure the BS of being alone in their crowd, absolutely oblivious to the truth.
Cheers!
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