It's Been A While..

Holy be-jezus!

It's been over a month since I've stopped by. Well.. I guess a random blog is due. I haven't really had time to do anything. All I do is work and sleep. No really.. that's ALL I do. I got a job delivering the Calgary Hearld in the mornings and it's EVERY day. Good money tho. I'm quitting Rusty's, I just don't know when. I also got a new kitten so yes, this brings my kitty count up to 4. Here's a pic of the precious ball of fur.. Her name is Mercedes. I love her.

Calgary Stampede was amazing and I meant to blog the night after the Hedley concert but I had NO energy left. I was raining SO hard and I was in a little tank top and capris. Damn was I cold but damn was it good... Here's a random Jacob shot that got me hot and bothered.

Alot has happened in the past few weeks, alot of it that I've been majorly stressed about. But I'll just hang on to it for a rainy day when all I wanna do is vent. I'm rather tired right now and I guess I should get some more sleep before I have to work at Rusty's at 11. I'm scheduled like every freakin' day and it's really getting to me. I don't mind doing the papers every day cause that's a 2-hour job and I'm getting paid premo money for it, but with working the fucked up shifts that Cathy is making me work.. it's really getting to me. I'm really scared to give my notice but it has to be done. I wish I could just quit and then randomly find another job BUT with going to Vancouver in September, that isn't gonna happen. Ah well..maybe next time I write in here, I will be gone from Rusty's and have another job. Who knows?

Well I'm out.. I'm starting to yawn (again) and my knack for playing Jewel Quest Solitaire on my tele is starting to get to me. Ciao!

The One

Every girl has that one boy that they will never get over..

The one who you get butterflies just when someone says his name..

The one who has his name written all over your heart..

The one who you compare every other guy to..

That one boy you never could get sick of talking about..

The one that no one could understand 'Why him?'..

That one everyone thinks you can do better.. but you know you can't..

The one you ask to yourself.. 'Why her and not me?'..

Always Worth A Second Chance

As I sit here, wiping the tears from my eyes from a television series that I absolutely despised once upon a time, I got to thinking.. there are things, people, places we see that at that point in time make us cringe, make us turn our noses in disgust but we never really give them a try. We never give them a chance to prove themselves. Well for the past month and a half, I have let one of my demises into my life and have realized that it was the most heartwretching thing, in the up most way. Yes, and if you have caught the "pun" earlier on, you would have guessed that I'm talking about Sex and the City. When that show first aired, I was a mere 14, so watching that show as religiously as I have been, woulda been kinda odd. I shouldn't say odd, but if you knew my family then yes, you would use the word odd. And SJP, my god... I hated every molecule of her and now to think, I think she is one of the most beautiful, gracious women today. People don't get 100% of the facts when it comes to things. Just like us humans only use 10% of our brains, I'm beginning to believe we only judge 10% of what we should. There is also someone else, and I won't name names, but I couldn't stand this person, now to think where I am and how far I've fallen.

Isn't it funny to think back, say 5 years ago and realize just exactly how much has changed. Let's see, let's talk about me. 5 years ago I was 19 and thought I knew it all. 5 years ago I just bought my first car. 5 years ago I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Now here I am, 5 years later, juggling bills and money and stress and major decisions. Where will I be 5 years from now? I will be 29 and I sure as hell hope I'm NOTHING like I am right now. In any way, shape or form! I hope I don't have any emotional vampires in my life or any kind of fake person whose just there for the ride.

So to end this tragic note, I shall sleep, for I have been up all night watching the final episodes, crying my poor little eyes out and wishing there was more. Until this evening, when the girls will reunite on the silver screen right in front of me. And will it be good?...

Abso-fucking-lutely!

May Nineteen Two Thousand Eight

Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within

Young girl don't cry

I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

Young girl it's alright

Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl don't hide

You'll never change if you just run away

Young girl just hold tight

Soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed

It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold

When you look outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Life is a journey

It can take you anywhere you choose to go

As long as you're learning

You'll find all you'll ever need to know (be strong)

You'll break it (hold on)

You'll make it

Just don't forsake it because

No one can tell you what you can't do

No one can stop you, you know that I'm talking to you

Young girl don't cry, I'll be right here when your world starts to fall..

To Hell With It All

So I've had enough with Medicine Hat and all of it's lameness. I've had it with the fake, arrogent people who pretend to be your friend and in the end, do nothing but hurt you. I've had it with bending over backwards for those "friends" by putting my life on hold just to customise theirs and make sure they are 100% ok, when in return all they end up doing is fucking me royally. I've also had it with all the immaturity this city has to offer, and with that, the employers. I know I have complained about the employers in Calgary being whack but as of lately, the ones here blow. I also know about a million people who would back my statements up. I can't handle this depression anymore. It seems like an endless cycle that keeps going and going and there is no way to escape it. Alot would say that (again) I am running away from my problems and yes, maybe in a way I am, but right now that's all I really can do. How am I supposed to be happy and make money with no job? (Which might I add I got one yesterday.. one I didn't even apply at too.) I want to go back to the place where even with no job and no money made me happy. I'm not a small town person and Vancouver is 2 years away, which is WAY to long and I can garuntee I will be driven to insanity by then. Calgary is where my heart is. Funny to think that I was terrified of Calgary when the offer first came up. Pussy. I can't wait to move back and I will be counting down the days until happiness. You know the saying, "If you want something bad enough, you would do anything to get it".. All I want is to be happy. Fuck money and big houses and expensive cars, I mean it would be great but you can have all of that and not be happy (although right now alot of money would make me VERY happy cuz then I'd get outta here sooner). I AM going to do EVERYTHING to be happy again. And to be happy again means going home. After the Vancouver vacation, I am going to work my ass off, pay off old debts, save up, exercise, and get the fuck outta here. And if I'm not outta this shit hole by January 1st, 2009, I give permission to whoever reads this, to kill me with a dull butterknife.
On the here and now, my pup is sick. Poor boy. :(

One More Day?... I Sure Hope Not!

So as I sit here, on Day 7, still jobless, I'm wondering what the hell it takes to get a job in this city. I've applied at 21 places so far and not ONE has called back. Places that are hiring, places I have experience at, places that hire BUMS! I really don't wanna resort going to McDonalds.. Now that's low. And sad. I really wish employers would take down their "NOW HIRING" signs if they are NOT hiring and another thing that pisses the fuck outta me is when an employer says that they will call you, and then they don't. The only thing I am certain on right now is my re-runs of Sex and the City. I have 22 days before the movie comes out (at this rate I'm gonna have to sneek in to see it) and I wanna watch all 6 seasons. I'm down 1 and a half.. 4 and a half more to go.
Well, here's to hoping that I get a call back 2morro. From at least ONE of the places I applied. And another gas tank full later, I will apply at more places. My feet are cold, my cat's in heat and I have a sore throat. Oh my god, I killed one giant ass spider today. Well I didn't KILL it, I sucked him up with the vaccum so I really hope he died right away cuz he'da been mighty dizzy otherwise.
I guess I'm off to continue my journey's through Sex and the City re-runs. Good riddance and good night.. Again.

Monday Night Blues

I am so tired. And alone. I hate being alone. It's the most horrible feeling in the world. Well.. that and bad gas. Thank whoever for my cats. Except when they act like how Mahliboo is acting right now. I have her in my room with me (yes I'm scared) and she was in mid-lick and she just stopped, her ears pinned up and she darted off the bed. Prolly a spider. Eesh! Yuck..
So I have come to a fork in my path of life. What to do? Do I stay somewhere that is offering me more money, a hotel discount, staff that I like (except for a few), but low hours, other side of town and no chance for advancement OR do I go somewhere that will give me more hours, a hotel discount (as well), closer to home, lower wage, staff that I might particularly not like but a possiblility of advancement (the top of the throne!!)? Oh Jeeze.. what do I do?
This blog is going to be, from this moment on, the most random peice of cyberspace ever. I am going to look around my room and talk about things.. What? I don't wanna go to sleep yet (even tho I am dead tired)..
We'll start with my reflection in the mirror. I don't like it. Well.. on second glance.. I guess I kinda do. Kinda. I hate smiling tho. With teeth. I still have a damn baby tooth and it looks so uneven, like someone knocked my lights out and I'm redneck Shelley. Oh.. My.. Hipvits.. I just got the shit scared right outta me! Damn cats... anyways. K so yah. I'm now bored of randoms so you can have your 8.00 back cuz this is lame-o. I'm so bored lalala. And I hope I sleep in until 3 pm tomorrow so I don't have to be bored for longer. Oh Granola.. I feel sorry for people who move to another city for college or a job or whatever and they know no one. I'd go crazy. Yes.. me crazy.. with my cats! *insert cackle here* Well.. I guess I'll go play some games on PoGo until I get bored of that too.